KBM

Reflections on how I learn to live life with faith.

Unbelievable? Believe it.

It has been almost a year since I have started looking for a full time job. I’ve had clinical placements and work training experience, but I have yet to secure a full-time job. Because my employment history has been closely guarded by Centrelink, the job agency that Centrelink has provided for me told me that I only have until the end of this month to secure a full-time job. If by the end of October, I would still be unsuccessful then they would require me to do community service work for free. And so, I have been working double time to apply for jobs.

Early this month, I was given with the opportunity to have a job interview in one of the biggest scientific private companies in Australia. Upon receiving their phone call, I immediately asked people to pray for me that I get to do well with the interview. As I went on with the interview, I was given an announcement that they were interviewing me for two positions – one for a city-based position and one for a Peninsula-based position. After the interview, I was told that they were impressed with my background, skills and achievements. With that, I was somehow confident that I will get at least one of the two positions.

Tuesday the following week, I got news that I did not get any of the two jobs. This had been the second time that I was given a job interview for two vacancies in one of the biggest organizations in Australia, and was not successful for both. The reason for not getting any of the job vacancies was because I lacked experience.

Upon hearing the news, the world just fell upon me. I felt frustrated and upset with myself. I felt that time was running out for me. I felt so useless and I felt worthless. I felt that my heart just fell on the floor and I could hear it crashing into pieces. I felt that my determination, strength, optimism and motivation had all drained out. It would take a miracle for me to secure a job within the remaining two weeks of October.

But it was a Tuesday, and so I have decided to set aside my personal problem and focus on the Bible study lesson for that evening. I shifted my focus on understanding the lesson carefully, looking forward to having worship and fellowship, and I wrote greeting cards for the people I have been praying for constantly. In short, I have put myself aside and focused on other people especially the girls in my group.

The following day, I recalled that the group had discussed about Simon’s mother-in-law, and so I looked into my bible to search for that verse. I found the verse in Mark 1:30-31 – Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed, sick with a fever, and they told Jesus about her at once. He went to her, took her by the hand, and raised her up. The fever left her, and she served them. After analyzing the verse, I felt that my situation is the same as the mother-in-law in the verse who was sick. I was mentally and emotionally sick, but people around me constantly prays for my situation to get better. And I know that God, hears their prayers and heals me every single day because in Isaiah 40:29, God strengthens those who are weak and weary. And so, like the mother-in-law, as God constantly renews my strength, I shouldn’t sulk but instead I should stand up and serve!

That was a revelation to me. Why should I dwell on my frustrations all by myself? I should stand up and worship. Worship the Lord especially in bad times. Worship the Lord in difficult situations and circumstances because no one else can lift you up higher but the Lord. Hence. when I was driving home that Wednesday morning, I sang the song that has been stuck in my head for the past days – Desert Song by Hillsong United. When I was singing the chorus, “I will bring praise! No weapons formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice! I will declare! God is my victory and He is here.” tears started to flow down my eyes. Now that’s worshipping God amidst difficulties and singing glory, honour and praise to God whole heartedly. I prayed and I told God, just like that song, whatever plans He has for my life, I will bring glory to Him because no matter what changes are happening in my life – one thing remains constant, that He is still God, He is still my God and I will continue to worship Him. I trust Him and I put my life in His plans to unveil in my life.

The next Tuesday (which was last week), feeling uplifted after surrendering with full-on worship to God, I shared that experience to my group. And I told them that there was even a time during those rainy days I started to fall back and ask God, “Lord, I’ve only been praying for this one thing. Is it a selfish prayer? I want a career Lord, a career that You have in plan for me. A career that I can bring honour to You. A career that You will provide for me that will not hinder my time and service for GFC.” And then, when people have asked me what my prayer request would be, I just told them simply, I would like to have a full time job.

The following day, I had an appointment with the job agency that Centrelink has provided for me. I have been with that agency for months and I felt that they were not really looking into my case very well because of all the interviews that I have had in the past were all from my own applications and not from their recommendations. And so, I felt draggy again that day, I cancelled my appointment with them and I have decided to come with the other GFC people who had planned to go to a Christian shop that day. When I got to Parable, I was the first one there so I have decided to wait in my car, as I was waiting, I have received a phone call saying I have a job interview the following morning. After receiving that call, I made a quick prayer, “Lord, this is it! Thank you for another opportunity.”

Thursday came and I woke up with a bad case of LBM. It was so bad that I was 5-10 minutes late for my interview. They were gracious enough to still proceed with the interview even after I told my current health state. They told me that I was the last person that they were going to interview for the job. First 2 impressions that I gave them (coming late and coming in sick) would definitely be a “no” for an employer, so I thought to myself that I will just give my best but I was starting to feel that I will not get this job. The interview finished around 11am and they told me that if I have received a phone call from them the next day that would mean that I have got the job already.

And so I drove home did the usual house chores and drove to Dandenong to pick-up my brother and by the time I got home, I had two missed calls, one at around 11:30am and the other at 2:30pm. By 4:30pm, I went out with a friend and while she was ordering our food, my phone rang and this time, I picked up the call. It was the person who interviewed me this morning letting me know that I did well during my interview, it was very unfortunate that I was feeling a bit sick in the morning, but she called to let me know that I — GOT — THE — JOB. What a miracle.

Now, God is not deaf. He is our Father, He knows what is best for us and He hears our prayers. But we just have to be patient, because He has got the right one for us. Isaiah 4:31 states that those who wait upon the Lord, the Lord will renew their strength. When you think you can’t take one more breath, He will give you enough to keep going on and on and on and on and on as you face your everyday battles in your life. He knows your current circumstance. In Jeremiah 29:11-13the Lord knows His plans for you, plans to give you hope and prosper you. You just have to seek for the Lord and call upon the Lord with all your heart and He will come and you will find Him and He will listen to you.

Now who says, nothing is impossible? Everything is possible with God. He can work a miracle in each and everyone of our lives. When you feel all weary and tired, surrender it all to the Lord. Let Him hear your cries, your pains, your agonies. He sees them. He knows them. Just keep worshipping Him, especially in bad times. Just have faith. In the Bible, the faith the size of a small mustard seed can move mountains (Matthew 17:20).

Unbelievable? Believe it.

Kat.

 

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One comment on “Unbelievable? Believe it.

  1. Pingback: Desert Story « ktrnamanalo

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This blog contains my thoughts, reflections and realizations about my journey. Who I was before, what I am currently learning, what has inspired me, and who I am now.

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